1988 HSC-RDC Christmas Songs

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Bioprods for Others

Sung to tune of "We Three Kings"

Written by the RDC Christmas Committee 1988

Bioprods for others to buy
MUGS & DIDS without or with fly
Custom agents change procedure
IRS Codes this week

Ooooooh oh!
Bureaucratic border guards
Paper work to sink a barge
Accounting systems changing daily
May is now replacing Sean

We sell things both here and away
Customers that don't always pay
Custom agents change procedure
Open, inspect, and pour

Ooooooh oh!
Bureaucratic border guards
Paper work to sink a barge
Accounting systems changing daily
Sean is now replacing May

Diagnose genetic disease
Ania packs to send overseas
Custom agents change procedure
Duty and tac now due.

Ooooooh oh!
Bureaucratic border guards
Paper work to sink a barge
Accounting systems changing daily
Mac™ is now replacing Sean

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Don't Worry, Be Happy

Sung to tune of "Don't Worry, Be Happy"

Written by the RDC Christmas Committee 1988

Here's a little song we rhymed
Don't take it to heart, not now, no time...

Chorus:
Don't worry, be happy.
Don't worry, be happy.

Sean Corbett, he move back uptown
CyberFluor don't want him hangin' round.
How we stuck with him we don't know
If he don't make good coffee, he have to go.

Gettin' top heavy with administration
It be a problem across de nation.
Too many blue suits and MBA's
Maybe with free trade we can give it away.

We on the eve of destruction man
But Alfred OK, he got a plan.
When bottom fall out - he won't come to harm
He buy some land on brother-in-law's farm.

Barb she install new security
Too many times she have burglary
But she alright, got new camper car
And every six months new VCR.

Swedish women they love Ramon
He never spend a night alone
But safety important he always say
He wash his hands ten times a day.

Ramon he hire a tech named Blair
But he take job not here but there
Then Mary Hsiang she next in line
She start work November 1989.

Monia check out all the men
She keep here eye on Sean and Ben
But Thierry he sure know the way -
He fly her for Christmas to Uruguay.

Ying she happy all de day
Without her brother to get in the way
Cookies and candy by her side
But always room for Kentucky Fried.

Brian he want to get Ph.D.
Sometime before 1993.
Cause till he done, he unhappy laddy -
He rather spend time becoming daddy.

Sandy happy when financing come through
He buy new car cause old one won't do
Nice new Jaguar for his next safari
Groceries just won't fit in a Ferrari.

Zdenka she's in town today
She come to work, jet-lagged and grey.
Normally in Columbia or Timbuktu
Or with Sam in Las Vegas to say "I do".

Eva like to do it during the day
Eleven to four it's the only way
Poor Tim work till late each night
So cold showers are his only plight.

Audrey like to rule the kitchen
It's her place to stand and bitch in
Drink too much coffee, use wrong cup
Push in your chair or she beat you up.

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Fontana

Sung to tune of "Maria"
from "The Sound of Music"

Written by the RDC Christmas Committee 1988

She's our student
At RDC,
Her labcoat has a tear.
She bakes before she comes to work,
And talks the whole time there.
And while she's doing assays,
She ponders and truly cares
About the world of Fanning Friction Factors.

She's always late at starting,
But her dedication's real.
She always questions everything,
But listening's not her deal.
She has no address in T.O.,
So Montreal's her home.
Fontana, you are truly one of a kind.

We'd like to say a word on her behalf;
Fontana makes us laugh.

Chorus:
How do you solve a problem like Fontana?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Fontana?
A filberty jibert, a will of a wisp, a clown.
Many a things you know you'd like to tell her.
Many a things she ought to understand.
But how do you make her stay,
And listen to all you say?
How do you keep a wave upon the sand?
Oh, how do you solve a problem like Fontana?
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand.

When we're with her we're confused,
Out of focus and bemused,
And we never know exactly where we are.
Unpredictable as weather.
She's as flightly as a fetather.
She's a darling, she's a demon, she's a lamb.
She'll out pester any pest.
Drive a hornet from it's nest.
She can throw a whirling dirbish out of whirl.
She is gentle, she is wild.
She's a riddle, she's a child.
She's a headache, she's an angel,
She's a girl!

Chorus

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God Rest You Merry Scientists

Sung to tune of "God Rest You Merry Gentlemen"

Written by the RDC Christmas Committee 1988

God rest you merry scientists,
Let nothing you you dismay.
A man with venture capital
Is showing up today,
To save us all from poverty
And take our blues away -
Oh tidings of demos in store
Telling them more,
Oh tidings of demos in store.

We've got the lab all ready
With spirits running high.
The TRP is all taped up
And Brian wore a tie.
But wait, the airport radar's down -
Well, maybe next July.
Oh tidings of demos no more,
Happy but poor,
Oh tidings of demos no more.

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Hark I Hear the Phone is Ringing

Sung to tune of "Hark the Herald Angels Sing"

Written by the RDC Christmas Committee 1988

Hark, I here the phone is ringing,
Where on earth has Zdenka gone?
Off to Acapulco winging,
Thailand, Turkey, or Taiwan?
How can mak San Filippo
If she's gone to Puerto Rico?
With the faithful Sam along,
Madagascar or Hong Kong?
Hark, I hear the ninth floor say
Zdenka please come back today.

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O Come, What Should We Call It?

Sung to tune of "O Come All Ye Faithful"

Written by the RDC Christmas Committee 1988

O come what should we call it
something scientific
names for our company to stake our claim.
"Kidchem" and "zygote", "gynee-probe" won't make it
O come, what should we call it?
O come, what should we call it?
O come, what should we call it?
Someone should know

Eur-op-ium save us
"Eurobond" is taken
"preparation HSC" is medicated cream
Hi tech ground breakers like "sandy and genemakers"
O come, what should we call it?
O come, what should we call it?
O come, what should we call it?
Someone should know

"Eu-nice" is lovely
"Eugene" is more manly
la-bel your DNA or company tie
add in some science, like tech or scientific
O come, what should we call it?
O come, what should we call it?
O come, what should we call it?
Someone should know

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What Cup is This?

Sung to tune of "What Child is This?"

Written by the RDC Christmas Committee 1988

What cup is this - which laid to rest
Within the lab - is sitting?
Which memos said - we musn't use
Because it wasn't fitting.
This, this is a corp'rate mug
For significant VIP's.
Haste, haste to bring it back,
This cup, the mug of Audrey.

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